If theres one thing ive learned, Gary, is that Human beings seem to be built to withstand a great deal of suffering. In fact, most of our lives seem to revolve around how much suffering we (not just 11ers but all people) can take.
I think i can help you..but it wont be quick and its a process.
I can relate to you. Ive read your earlier posts and i wanted to say something, but as i would write, i would get this "gut feeling" that it wasnt my time to pipe up yet, so ive been silent. But after reading the last two responses in this thread by you, i feel like now, as i write these words, that there is nothing trying to prevent me from what id like to say....so i think this is now the right time.
Like i said, i can relate to you. I have a family member who also has a terrible addiction...a close one...a brother. That "demon" is Heroin.
I, myself, have been down the dark path of addiction. It wasnt on purpose, but i had blew two discs. One in my back and one in my neck. The docs for six years prescribed percocets. Now that ive pulled out of that dark hole, i want to say that its seariously F**** UP that this kind of stuff can be prescribed to people. These pills do nothing to help...but they get you hooked..this way the docs can get their montly visit fee and the Pharm companies get their money.
but i digress, im getting off topic...this isnt about me. But i know what my brother is going through when it comes to the addiction aspect. But ive never been so bad that ive become physically dependent. My brother has tried to get off of it...but when he sleeps, the withdrawls give him seizures....We've tried the idea of Rehab....but my god, the expenses just to go!! How on earth can you go to rehab when people will spend their last cent to get their fix when it comes to that powerfull of a drug? Unless your well off or have outstanding insurance...i dont see how addicts can pay upwards to 22 thousand dollars for a month stay!!
All we can do is be there for him. What i had to do, was to try and stay positive and try to focus on myself. Its not easy...wether its your son, or my blood brother. You have to learn the power of NO. That person will try to manipulate you, draw on your heartstrings, bring up things in the past that you may have made mistakes with and use that to guilt you into giving him money...or things like that.
You have to put your foot down and you have to hold your ground. It will break your heart.....it will bring a world of hurt right in your heart when you see your loved one suffer because you said NO...but you have to do it...for your sake as well.
it wont cure them, but in time, he will try to go elsewhere....that will hurt you too...but you have to remember something...something thats so very very important...and thats "You cant help someone, who doesnt want to be helped". When it comes to addiction, its truly up to them to want to make that change.
I know this because that was my mentality when the docs had me strung out on their "Legal" drugs. it hurts me to even say it and hurts me to look back on it...but i manipulated, i begged, and i became a huge burden on my family. It took a while for me to see out of that haze and to see the damage i was doing. And it was a long road to recovery....and i had to do it by myself.
Just to put this out there, anyone whos reading this...i hope you dont think any less of me. I look back on who i was then and who i am now and im so very proud of what ive done. THAT was my dark road...THAT was the situation that caused me to beg god out of desperation...i didnt just pray to god...it was to anyone that was listening...spirit guides, angels, whatever you may call them. i was NOT a spiritual person at that point.
My road forked at that point and i was given a huge synchronous message 15 minutes after that prayer. And thats what put me on my path towards light
Anyways, im going about myself again. I hope that some of the things ive said can help you Bridge. I also hope that you dont take my words as a kind of assault or become offended. I dont know whats gone 0n in your life...so maybe im wrong..but i dont feel like what ive said is wrong.
Bridge...Gary....this could be the start of healing the hole in your soul. We 11ers seem to get hit with some of the shittiest situations..and somehow...here we are. survivors....and were much stronger because of it. Weve done our share of suffering, we know what its like to hurt. But the people on this forum...its seems weve all had bad situations...really bad ones that are very very....dark. Wether is divorce, family issues, addiction or drugs, anything that is personal to YOU...here we all are. Stronger and better than what we were.
I hope this helps...none of us know each other personally...but on these boards, when we all talk to each other and discuss ideas...i FEEL like ALL OF YOU, are my blood brothers and sisters...kindred spirits who help each other selflessly....and expect nothing in return.
Were here for you man, if we can help, we will try.
Light and Love